Every day a new adventure...

Friday was my brother's wedding, and unlike most weddings, this one was a day of adrenaline, danger, high speed car chases, illegal activities, and it was nearly the death of me. So, prepare for a tale to end all tales! This is the story of my brother's wedding:

It was early Friday afternoon. I was nearly to the temple, and I was running just a little behind schedule. The wedding was supposed to start at 12:09, and I was told to be there by 11:30 (for good measure). Due to a slight traffic jam where cops had pulled somebody over in an area that was already slow because of construction, it looked like I would be arriving at about 11:40. It wasn't as early as I hoped, but I still had plenty of time.

Driving up the steep, long road to the Bountiful temple, I couldn't help but think that it was REALLY out there in the middle of nowhere. It was a beautiful place, and it was probably best to have it out there, but it was still a little inconvenient. But who cares? I had plenty of time, and it would make for a wonderful wedding.

As I entered the parking garage, I saw my father's car, and what looked my aunt's SUV and my cousin's car, all parked side by side. I parked next to them, smiling, and walked into the temple. As I entered the marriage waiting room, I looked around and realized that I didn't recognize anyone. I asked the attendant if there was another waiting room. There wasn't. She checked the schedule. There was no wedding scheduled for "Hansen." There had been some kind of miscommunication. It was then 11:50, and I was in the wrong temple! It was like a nightmare come true, except I wasn't naked, and there was no pop-quiz, or anything like that.

I ran back to my car. On closer inspection I realized that the car I had parked next to was not, in fact, my father's car. I grabbed my phone and started calling everyone I knew who could tell me where the wedding was. No one answered. Oddly, it seemed like they were all somewhere where they couldn't talk or answer a phone. Finally I got a hold of my cousin, who being unendowed, would most likely be waiting outside.

I asked him:

"Hey, I'm trying to get to the wedding! Are you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Great! Which temple is it at?"
"Um, I don't really know. Hold on, I'll ask my mom. and call you back."
(Since he's from Colorado, I could understand if he didn't know which temple it was in Utah).
I waited for his call, pacing nervously back and forth. Finally, my phone rang.

"Hey, she didn't answer her phone."
"What?! Just ask somebody there!"
"Dude, I'm in Colorado."
"..." (AAAAAAAAAH!!!)

I frantically began making more calls. Finally, I got a hold of someone at work who had an invitation, and found out that it was the Salt Lake Temple.

It was now 12:00. The wedding was at 12:09. I was in Bountiful. I needed to be in Salt Lake. I was the best man. He was my brother. What do you do? Sit down and cry? Nah, that's not my style. Mexico... I could flee to Mexico...

Seeing as how I don't speak Spanish, and Canada is so far away, I decided to give Salt Lake a shot. The road began to transform before me. Instead of being a winding residential road with double lines and a speed limit of 35 MPH, the road somehow changed into a freeway with a speed limit of 65 MPH and a single striped white line. Old folks on their way home from the temple were giving me odd looks. Soon I was on the real freeway. The signs that used to read "Speed Limit 65 MPH" Now read "Speed Limit 95 MPH."

I was panicking, I was stressing, my heart was beating. Somehow driving had become a cardiovascular exercise. I thought I was most likely going to be dead one way or another, so I kept going. I arrived at Salt Lake, flew off the exit, and headed towards the temple. I couldn't find any parking anywhere. I was about to try driving backwards down one of the roads, but saw an opening ahead and settled for a U turn. I found a parking garage, and stopped in the first empty space I found... even if it was specially reserved 24 hours a day.

I ran up the ramp from the garage, not caring to search for the pedestrian exit, and sprinted for the temple. It was 12:22. I may have held the new land speed record at that point for traveling from Bountiful to Salt Lake, but it wasn't enough. I began running a circle around the temple trying to find the entrance. I realized that I probably had to enter the temple from the newer addition, but decided to ask someone just to make sure. I couldn't waste a second! I finally made my way to the entrance, and through the temple (probably going faster than I should have). I entered the wedding ceremony just as they were starting. I was bright red, sweaty, and gasping for air... but I was there!

The rest of the day went pretty well. I was still experiencing some post-traumatic stress, but the dinner was great, my speech was enjoyed by all, and the toast was beautiful. The reception was also very excellent. Even though everything worked out pretty well, I suppose it would have been best to be prepared. So, in preparation for next time something like this happens, I think I'm going to start brushing up on my Spanish.